Whenever two or more of us...

Dear Friends,

No matter what our religious and spiritual beliefs and inclinations (including the inclination against anything called religion or spirituality) there is something deep for us humans around being together with others with a shared intention.

Last night in the final class of a 5-week series for medical providers one of the participants noted something important. She said, "Even though we've only talked to each other a little, I feel so supported by everyone here. It's like we've done something together that's bigger than I could have done on my own."

There's a kind of "special power" to being in a group of people with a shared intention, isn't there? This is something that I am regularly amazed by and just as regularly forget all about.

As I packed up the car to go teach that class, for example, I was feeling uneasy. I felt unprepared and uncertain. I knew this wasn't particularly rational - I've taught this class many times and it always seems to go fine - and yet there was that feeling. So I tried to be mindful that there was an uneasy feeling here but I didn't have to get too worried about it. Uncomfortable to be sure, but it need not be debilitating.

When the participant offered that reflection on the power of our shared experience together I realized that the root of my dis-ease was that old persistent idea that it's all on me. That I alone have to make the class happen. I was forgetting that it was a group enterprise supported by everyone who came.

In a very different context just the day before I'd had a similar experience. Twenty-four members of my family were gathered on a boat off the coast of San Diego. We were there to scatter the ashes of my beloved grandmother, Fran, a central figure in that branch of the family for decades.

Because of my background as a Zen Buddhist priest (an unlikely thing to me, even now) the family had invited me to officiate and organize a set of celebrations, remembrances and, finally, the moment of letting go and saying goodbye.

I've performed many rituals with many different groups in the overtly religious mode of Zen Buddhism with my robes on, inhabiting that role, and also simple rituals in the guise of a mindfulness teacher - standing in a circle to appreciate each other or a moment at the end of a class or a retreat for example.

And this seemed, on the face of it, different. I was there both as a member of the family, and a mourner, and a leader. And I'd never officiated at a burial at sea before. The captain of the boat - they do this regularly for families - asked me some helpful questions about how long I would speak, who would scatter the ashes and so on which gave me some clue and her obvious respect and caring helped me relax. I didn't have a clear plan beyond a poem in mind to share with the family.

As we were bobbing in the slight swell off Point Loma, I realized that simple was the way forward. We gathered on the wide bow of the boat and I shared a poem on the mystery of death and life (see below) and then we went quietly to the stern. There, Fran's children and grandchildren in turn went down to the water's edge to release the ashes.

The crew had guided me in preparing the ashes for release. We covered each basket with rose petals. This made for an amazing visual: the ashes sinking into the depths and the rose petals floating on the surface. By the end the wind and waves had somehow arranged the floating petals all around the boat. We stood in silence together - no need for me to be the "officiant" and suggest this - and watched the petals floating as the captain rang the ship's bell. It was a moment together. A moment with shared intention - although it might be each of us would have used different words to describe that moment - and yet it was not a separate moment for each of us, but a shared moment.

Motoring back to the harbor with the wind in our faces somehow Fran's spirit or memory or maybe just the feeling emerging from that rich moment in time was deeply with us.

May we all remember the importance of sharing moments with others. Whether they are dear (and at times complicated) family members, or colleagues, or just other human beings we've never met before, there is always something so important about these gatherings. And every meeting can be such a gathering whether it seems extraordinary, like releasing cremated remains at sea, or ordinary, like a staff meeting. Every moment we are meeting. And the meeting can open us to a bigger vision of what this is.

Wishing us all happiness and peace,

Tim

Tim Burnett,  Executive Director 

Someone you know looking to get started with mindfulness?

Bellingham starts 9/11

Seattle starts 9/13

Or try a workshop: 

Meeting Mindfulness is a 2 1/2 - 3 hour hands-onoverview:

Bellingham on 9/9

Seattle on 9/7

Or try deeper dive:

Taking the Path of Mindfulness is a six-class intensive that will help you build a deep and meaningful practice:

Bellingham starts 10/12

Have time for our 8-week gold-standard classes?

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction - available in Seattle, Bellingham, Kirkland, and Everett

Mindful Self-Compassion - available in Seattle and Bellingham

Retreats ahead

Retreat practice is so important and so powerful. Immersing ourselves in the practice and taking a true break for our busy routines is transformational.

Roots of Compassion 5-day Retreat 2017 - August 27 - September 1

Join us for a deep look at the Buddhist roots of our compas-sion practice. On tranquil Samish Island, a mostly silent retreat with meditations, talks, walks and personal time to let it all sink in.

Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Teacher Training Discernment Retreat (Samish Island) - September 1-4
Thinking of taking the Mindfulness Teacher Training Program next year? Join this year's cohort in their first weekend together to see what the program is like! 

Plan Ahead!

Roots of Mindfulness 7-day Retreat 2017 October 15-22
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Day of Mindfulness(Bellevue) - October 28

Day of Mindfulness  (Seattle) - November 4

Day of Mindfulness  (Bellingham) - November 5

Mary Oliver - When Death Comes

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn,
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;

when death comes
like the measle-pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,

and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder

if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

Roots of Compassion Retreat

Deepen your heart's capacity for compassion during a 5-night mostly silent retreat at a beautiful site on Samish Island. We'll explore deeply the Buddhist roots of our modern compassion practices through gently guided meditations and a series of talks, seasoned with insights from philosophy, poetry, and the sciences.

All that in  a tranquil setting, with great accommodations and excellent food! 

Fall Class Schedule

Information on these classes and retreats can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

Practice in Real Life

Dear Friends,

Research on how mindfulness helps us cope keeps appearing. There are now entire scientific journals on mindfulness!

A recent study I found particularly clear and interesting is a study out of Australia (summary article here).

In that study they looked at how people cope with stressful situations. People who've developed a more present-centered attitude of "present-centered awareness" - that just being present with what is now and not dwelling so much in the future or the past - did better under pressure in three ways, which they termed: (1) coping self-efficacy, (2) values-based coping, and (3) less avoidance coping.

Coping self-efficacy: First, the more mindful folks in the study had more confidence in themselves under stress.  They were likely to feel like they have the resources and ability to deal with the difficult situation.  

How does mindfulness help with coping self-efficacy? With mindfulness, and this does imply being willing to really feel our feelings of discomfort and anxiety during stressful times, we are better able to weather the storm, to rise to the challenge, and to release from regrets and the extra fears and catastrophizing the mind can so easily add. And the humility and self-awareness mindfulness facilitates also means we're more likely to seek support and ask for help under stress. Both of these factors (seeing stress as a challenge not a disaster, and seeking help) also protect us against the unhelpful aspects of the classic fight, flight, or freeze stress response.

Values-based coping: Second, in this study they saw that people with a more mindful, present-centered orientation stay closer to their core values when under stress. They don't take short cuts like playing fast and loose with the truth to avoid consequences. They are less likely to tell themselves stories that justify bad behavior for instance. We've all experienced how much worse we end up feeling when we "cheat" in some way or convince ourselves of something we know not to be really true to try to avoid trouble.

Less avoidance coping. Third, they found that more mindful people did far less of what they called "avoidance coping". They were less likely to distract themselves with the various indulgences we use to try to avoid our feelings. While it can be quite healthy to get back under the covers sometimes and take a real break, we all know the effects of the many compulsive behaviors we use to try to avoid feeling uncomfortable.  It works out far better, this work suggests, to stay with it and feel what we feel. Even when that's the more difficult option in the short term.

I was thinking about all of this this morning after I made a mistake. I sent a sloppy reply-all email which one of the accidental recipients might have found condescending. Nothing too bad - my poor conduct pales in comparison to recent examples on the national stage - but a mistake. And a mistake that might make it harder to move forward on a project that matters to me.

Once my colleague pointed out the mistake I certainly had that familiar "oh s**t!" feeling. And I noticed my sense of self-esteem taking an immediate nose-dive. "What an idiot I am," the inner critic was ready to tell me. And I noticed the mind spinning to regret about past: what I should and shouldn't have done. And my mind went to fears about the future: what if this results in the whole project being cancelled? And I noticed the tension in me from having acted out of accord with my values of being respectful and caring to everyone. I wouldn't have written something that reads as condescending if I were fully in touch with my values.

After the initial shock I felt some gratitude. And realized that my process of recovering from a set back like this is similar to what this study describes.  

Coping self-efficacy. Even though it's painful feeling shame and embarrassment when I make a mistake I've come, over time, to have confidence that I'll weather even the worst disasters. And that part of that weathering means I can't avoid the feelings. It's painful to make a mistake and I know I can bear that pain. And I've learned to seek support. I had a helpful exchange with my colleague and then reached out to another colleague who was affected with a brief apology. (I found out later that she jumped in to reduce any potential damage from my email!).

Values-based coping. I appreciated that it was harder for my mind to try to justify or avoid the mistake because I touched in to my values. It wasn't just a bit of sloppy emailing. I shouldn't have been writing anything that is less than fully respectful. That's a core value I have and when I am sloppy with my values, trouble results sooner or later. Rather than just being more careful when playing with fire, better to not light that fire int he first place.

Less avoidance coping. And I'm grateful that I have the training and support to simply feel the "ouch" of this, feel the healthy regret. Not to wallow in shame, of course (go back to values-based coping! Self-respect is a another great value to nurture!). Reflecting on our common humanity helps here too: it's human to make mistakes! It's normal to lose track of our values from time to time.  

At the moment this is still quite painful and it can stay painful as long as it needs to.  Feelings what we're feeling is a key part of coping self-efficacy. Otherwise it's avoidance. Sometimes we misunderstand mindfulness as a way to instantly "move on" or "let go" of something difficult - but actually that's a kind of subtle avoidance coping mechanism that is sometimes called "Spiritual Bypass".  

Wishing you strength and resilience when your mistakes happen. For they surely will!

Tim

Tim Burnett,  Executive Director 

Need a practice tune up?

Starting soon in Seattle and Kirkland

Our Fundamentals of Mindfulness class is an excellent way to discover mindfulness practices AND tune up your existing practice by re-grounding in the basics.

Seattle: starts July 6th

Kirkland: starts July 12th

In Bellingham? Try our new drop-in class Thursday evenings.

Starts July 6th

A great 90 minutes of guided practice, poetry, and check-ins. Drop in. Practice together. Refresh.

Thursday evenings this summer

Retreat options

We're delighted to be offering so many more retreats: one day retreats in Seattle, Woodinville, Bellingham, and online. Plus Mindful Self-Compassion at Tassajara, and Roots of Compassion at Samish.

Retreat practice is so important and so powerful. Immersing ourselves in the practice and taking a true break for our busy routines is transformational.

Retreats coming up

A Day of Mindfulness for Health Care Professionals (Bellingham) - July 16th

A Day of Mindfulness at Brightwater Center (Woodinville) - July 29

Mindful Self Compassion at Tassajara - July 20-24

Roots of Compassion 5-day Retreat 2017 - August 27 - September 1
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Plan Ahead

Teacher Training Discernment Retreat (Samish Island) - September 1-4
Thinking of taking the Mindfulness Teacher Training Program next year? Join this year's cohort in their first weekend together to see what the program is like! 

Roots of Mindfulness 7-day Retreat 2017 October 15-22
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Day of Mindfulness(Bellevue) - October 28

Day of Mindfulness  (Seattle) - November 4

Day of Mindfulness  (Bellingham) - November 5

"Compassion for others begins with kindness for ourselves."

- Pema Chodron

Coming Soon with Spaces Left

• Seattle: Fundamentals of Mindfulness. Thursday evenings, July 6 - August 3.

• Bellingham: NEW! Drop-In Classes. Come when you can! Thursday evenings, July 6 - August 24, 7-8:30pm

• Kirkland: Fundamentals of Mindfulness. Wednesday evenings July 12 - August 2.

• Bellingham: A Day of Mindfulness for Health Care Professionals - July 16.

• Samish Island retreat: Roots of Compassion. August 27 - September 1. SeaTac Airport Shuttle available!

Upcoming Classes

Information on these and the classes and retreat can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

Three keys to mindfulness and compassion

Dear Friends,

Something that keeps coming up for me in our mindfulness and compassion classes is that there are three qualities that enable the process to be transformational. And since the practice of mindfulness and compassion isn't just a skill we learn but a fundamental re-engagement with our lives, I'm realizing more and more that these three qualities enable us to more fully live with joy, engagement and resilience in this world.

The three qualities I'm thinking of are: willingness, honesty, and curiosity. I'd like to offer a few thoughts from my perspective but more importantly, I invite you to turn these over in your mind and heart and see how they are for you.

Willingness

Nothing changes if we aren't willing. Willing to try something new. Willing to be wrong. Willing to make a mistake and be a little embarrassed. Willing to deviate from our usual course, or sometimes willing to stay the course. There needs to be plenty of discernment in willingness.

The opposite of willingness is being small, is withdrawing into our usual patterns, is running on autopilot. 

This is subtle though. It's not just about pushing, pushing, pushing ourselves to be more willing. Think of the wonderful invitation in our Mindful Self-Compassion classes around opening and closing. Maybe you, like me, absorbed a message that we are always supposed to be opening up. Expanding. Trying new things. 

But to be always willing in that way is unsustainable and involves some aggression towards our self (what one author calls the "subtle aggression of self-improvement"). The willingness I'm talking about includes the willingness to close when that's what we need. To take a break. To decide to pass. But this is not so much an unwillingness to learn and grow as a willingness to pace ourselves with kindness. Asking ourselves, "What do I need right now?" is a key ingredient in the practice of willingness.

But nothing happens if we aren't willing.

Honesty

All systems of ethics include honesty. We know there are negative consequences when we lie to each other, even when lies seem somehow justified or reasonable.

But I'm also thinking about learning to be more honest about how we talk to ourselves and each other about our inner lives. This honesty is shedding the one-sided, habitual myths about who we are and how we're doing.

Perhaps you usually tell yourself, or tell others, that you're fine. "How are you?" we ask each other. "Fine, thanks." we answer. A useful ritual of connection but often we miss the opportunity to go further into real connection and real honesty.  Or perhaps you always tell yourself, and even others, that you're stressed and upset. Is that really always true?

Because of course we aren't any one way - fine or upset, or rather we are and we aren't. True honesty about our inner lives also requires us to practice holding opposites.  Our lives are wonderful - we have enough food to eat, a roof over our heads, many friends and relations who support us - and our lives are disasters - we're afraid and anxious, we don't know if we can do it, we don't know if the world is going to fall into enormous cataclysmic disasters. It's hard to even know how to speak or what to say if we ponder our lives deeply but we have to try.

The practice of this kind of honesty is one of the most wondrous aspects of our experience with each other in Mindfulness Northwest classes. We find that when we practice real honesty with each other there is an incredible feeling of connection, intimacy, and safety that emerges. Honesty allows us to access to essential feeling of common humanity.  Oddly enough the fear that most often keeps us dishonest, the fear that we will be revealed as unworthy and a fraud, that very fear is what is healed when we are more honest. We find out through honesty in a deep and direct way that we are not alone.

Curiosity.  We are all deeply trained in a certain kind of knowing: the knowing of skills and facts, procedures and abilities. It's a useful kind of knowing, and we need it to navigate the world, to get our jobs done. And yet this kind of knowing can also shrink around us as a kind of straight-jacket of certainty. This kind of knowing can lead to states of extreme mindlessness in the fashion that Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer describes in her work as a state in which the past over-predicts the present and one is "often in error, but rarely in doubt."

Curiosity is the antidote to this narrowing of perspective. Curiosity engenders openness. It broadens perspective. It reveals to us new and unexpected aspects of any situation. Curiosity helps us to read the subtle signs and signals that this isn't exactly the same as last time. Curiosity supports engagement, and with engagement we can find joy and delight even in the middle of activities we think of as mundane and routine. There is always more to whatever is going on than we notice at first. Curiosity is the second look and the fresh perspective.

"I wonder if there's more going on here?" we might ask ourselves. This kind of questioning, very essentially, creates the purposeful pause that helps make space for curiosity.

It's a practice

It's wonderful to contemplate these three qualities of willingness, honesty, and curiosity. How does it feel to you to read these words and think about how you already employ these qualities in your life - and perhaps the feeling of those times when you don't?

But the practice of them is in the living of them. A wonderful practice is each day to get up in the morning and set your intention to be willing, to be honest. Each day is a new day, unlike any that has come before. Our life invites us to show up for it and more and more it feels like the whole world needs us at our best. Luckily, being at our best in this way is a joy and a privilege. It feels better, even when we encounter the great challenges of life, to be willing, to be honest, and to be curious.

I was discussing these qualities with one of the meditation groups I visit and one of them pointed out the overarching quality that makes these three function: kindness. A good point! And I would suggest also a natural result of practicing these three. If we're willing, honest and curious how else can we be towards ourselves and others but kind? We only have so long, we're all in this together, and life is tough. Let's be kindly willing, kindly honest, and kindly curious. Together.

Tim

Rev. Tim Burnett,  Executive Director 

News

Still a couple of places left!

Mindful Self-Compassion Intensive (Tacoma) - May 7-12
Flying in? Airport shuttle now available.

Online Classes

Retreat at Home. A three-hour LIVE online retreat offered on Sundays from 2pm-5pm PST May 14th and June 11th.  Join from the comfort of your own home. 

From a participant in our first Retreat at Home:

"Convenient! Guided meditation practices with an awesome teacher!"

Discounts and Credits

Alumni discount option.   To encourage alumni to continue to refine and grow their practice, alumni will be able to re-take their classes and/or attend retreats at a reduced rate. 

Plan Ahead!

Roots of Compassion 5-day Retreat 2017 - August 27 - September 1st
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Roots of Mindfulness 7-day Retreat 2017 October 15-22
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Kirkland: 8-week Mindfulness Stress Reduction will be offered Wednesday mid-day and Wednesday evenings.

Seattle: the 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion class offered on Thursday Evenings

Bellingham: (tentative) the 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class will be offered.

Meditation upon awakening

[Adapted from
Thich Nhat Nanh]

As I awake, I smile.

A brand new day
in front of me.

I vow to be willing, honest and curious.

And to look with eyes of compassion
upon all beings.

Upcoming Retreats

We're delighted to be offering so many more retreats: one day retreats in Seattle and Woodinville, and online. Weekend, 5-day, and 7-day retreats at our favorite retreat center in the Skagit Valley. And more. Retreat practice is so important and so powerful. Immersing ourselves in the practice and taking a true break for our busy routines is transformational.

Information on these and the classes and retreat can be found on our site:    Mindfulness Northwest Events

Mindful Self-Compassion Intensive (Tacoma) - May 7-12
Flying in? Airport shuttle now available.

A Day of Mindfulness in Seattle - May 13

Retreat at Home (Online) - May 14

A Day of Mindfulness at Brightwater Center  (Woodinville) 
May 27

Retreat at Home (Online) - June 11

A Summer Day of Mindfulness for Health Care Professionals
(Semiahmoo County Park) July 16

Upcoming Classes

Information on these and the classes and retreat can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

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April 2017 Newsletter

Letter from Tim

Wandering minds = less happiness

Our minds are time traveling machines. When not truly focussed on what's happening right now our minds wander about half of the time, and when the mind wanders, where is it most likely to go? To the future and to the past. [See the Wandering Minds TED talk in Resources - right sidebar.]

In our classes and workshops we're constantly suggesting the dangers of excessive time traveling. 

It is true that the mind's ability to manufacture worlds that might exist in the future or re-generate the worlds of our past experience can be useful to us - how else would be make decisions or learn from what happens to us? 

Then again, rehearsing what we're going to do or rehashing what just happened might be useful to us the first time we do it, and maybe the second or third time, but but the 10th or the 100th time it's looking pretty doubtful. 

To make matters worse, our wandering, time traveling minds also exhibit a strong "negativity bias" [see Negativity Bias in Resources.]  What we remember from the past and predict of the future tends to be more disastrous, embarrassing, and just plain worse than what actually happened or actually will happen to us. And here we can so easily use a perceived or predicted exception to disprove any rule ("Just because this presentation went fine the last 100 times doesn't mean I'm not going to blow it this time!"). 

The “negativity bias” is not to say that bad things don't happen. Of course they do. But for most of us, most of the time, bad things are rare and most of the time we're surrounded by support, stability, and moment-to-moment opportunities to feel joy, connections, gratitude, and satisfaction in our lives. The time traveling, wandering mind just doesn't notice this as it's too busy ruminating over past failures and predicting future disasters. 

Instead, stay present

Recent research by an Australian group of researchers reinforces this Mindfulness 101 idea even further [see Present Moment Awareness in Resources.]. They found that people who take a more present-centered mental stance tend to feel more resilient in the face of stressful situations. They stay more grounded in their values, and remember a wider array of responses to difficult situations. And they are much less likely to try to avoid difficulty in maladaptive ways when it comes along. 

Lately I'm noticing that the benefits gained from present-centered awareness may be more profound than I realized. 

I'm fairly busy with teaching, running a mindfulness institute, helping to run a Zen center, my family, trying to stay in touch with friends, taking care of the body, household projects and repairs, doing my bit as an activist, and on and on. Your list details may differ but I bet your list isn't much shorter! 

And I enjoy and appreciate this life very deeply. But where my mind tends to go when anxiety flares is to the to-do list. So many things I'm probably not getting to, or forgetting, or have left half-done. There's a fear there of disappointing others. And if I look deeply a fear of ultimately being proven incompetent - a fraud. (A psychologist friend of mine named this for me as, "Fraud Syndrome"). 

And much as I enjoy a busy day of teaching, meeting with colleagues, practicing with the Zen community and so on, I always look forward to days with a lighter schedule at my home office which I think of as "catch up days." 

Even harder with time on my hands

The problem is: when I get finally to the catch up day I've longed for it often doesn't go the way I'd imagined.  

Rather than a relaxed and productive day of knocking the to-do list items out of the park. I find that with less structure my mind has more room to wander. It drifts into a feeling of overwhelm and I find myself doing low-priority tasks or procrastinating as a way to cope. I can even see my mind jumping to another task or even to the end of the day anticipating that I'll look back a this day with regret about my failure to have the focussed, productive day I'd longed for.  

What I'm learning is it's critically important that I make an active choice to focus on one thing at a time and to gently monitor my mind’s wandering tendencies throughout. I'm learning that the amount of mind wandering to the past and future, even the near future (like the next task after this one!) that's actually helpful during this kind of day is....basically zero.  

There are times for planning, sure, but mostly there are times to just do one thing. Just one thing. Just this. 

Adding a little structure to my day can also help. Yesterday I went to a yoga class, and with the 2 hour shorter day than I would have had without it I think I got more done and felt more satisfied with myself than I would have otherwise. 

So I'm doing my best to notice when I'm entering into the potential hazard of low-structure times when I hope to be productive and renew my intention to work gently and clearly with the mind in this present-centered way. The question I'm working with more and more is, "What am I doing now?" not, "What do I need to do today?"  

When it's hard, add kindness

And when the mind does it's thing and I can feel that downward spiral starting up, here's the other piece: kindness.  

I try my best to pause, smile to myself and the busy mind, and gently gather myself back to what I'm doing now. In our Mindful Self-Compassion classes there's the suggestion to treat the wandering mind more like an over-eager puppy or a toddler to guide lovingly and less like a problem child to discipline until he straightens out. 

I realize that all of this is not all that different from standard advice on getting things done. But the key to actually enjoying our low-structure productive times is mindfulness and self-compassion. A settledness in breathing helps. Attending to the body helps. Holding each task in our mind firmly but gently and appreciating our efforts as we go along with a softness around the outcome helps too. 

After you finish reading the newsletter I invite you ask yourself: What am I doing right now? Can you stay with that with stability and kindness? And forgiveness when you wander off! 

Tim

News

Learn the basics - live, online

Mindfulness Fundamentals Online Course. Our popular 4-week introduction to Mindfulness in the MBSR style now available online with a mix of self-paced and live interactive online content. Live meetings Tuesdays 6pm-8pm starting April 11th, plus includes the April 23rd Retreat at Home.

Treat Yourself - A Weekend of Mindfulness

An overnight retreat is a great way to extend the practice you've started after one of our classes!

Spring Weekend Retreat (Samish) - Friday-Sunday April 7-9

New Online Retreat Series - Try the first one free.

Retreat at Home. A three-hour LIVE online retreat offered on Sundays from 2pm-5pm PST on April 23rd, May 14th, and June 11th.  Join from the comfort of your own home using the Zoom video conferencing system. We're excited about this convenient way to renew our practice together from wherever we are. NOTE: The April 23rd retreat is FREE.

Become a mindfulness teacher!

If you've been feeling the call, there are a couple of spots in the training cohort that begins in September.

Click here for more info.

Discounts and Continuing Education

Alumni discount option. To encourage alumni to continue to refine and grow their practice, alumni can re-take their classes and/or attend retreats at a reduced rate. 

Resources

Wandering Minds TED talk: Click here.

Negativity Bias - Article by Rick Hanson: Click here.

Present-moment awareness research: Click Here

Scholarship Fund

We try to make our classes and retreats accessible to everyone, regardless of ability to pay. Our sliding fee scale helps, but many with the most need for mindfulness are the least able to pay.

You can help by making a tax-deductible donation to our Scholarship Fund. Thank you!

Upcoming Classes

Information on all our classes and retreats can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

Upcoming Retreats

Information on all our classes and retreats can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

Plan Ahead!

Roots of Compassion 5-day Retreat 2017 - August 27 - September 1st
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Roots of Mindfulness 7-day Retreat 2017 October 15-22
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Newsletter not meeting your needs? Feel free to Unsubscribe.

"What we practice, we get better at"

I've been thinking more and more about the profound implications of a simple idea: the idea that what we practice we get better at.

Like so many useful truths it's a no-brainer. If we want to get better at something we do it again, and again. We learn more about it; we read a book, watch a YouTube, take a seminar. All around us people are improving all kinds of skills from how to knit a hat to how to put out a structure fire. 

What's interesting and important to me is that we usually only apply this simple maxim to external things. To the things we do and make and create. To the problems we solve in the world.

We don't apply it to our inner selves nearly as consistently. We don't practice the inner things we want to improve.

And we all have wishes for improvement in our inner selves.

We may want to be more reliable, or more patient, or kinder, or more generous. We may want to show up on time more consistently. We way want to listen to our kids more fully.

Or maybe we don't have clear goals for our inner life and instead our mind goes to the things we don't like about ourselves. What is that for you? If you start the sentence, "what I don't like about myself is...." and pause with that a moment. What comes up?

But here's the thing: if we just focus on what we don't have we are only reinforce a kind of internal impoverished mindset. But if we can focus on what we would like to be better at we can take it out of the realm of frustration or wishful thinking and instead practice that trait we'd like to strengthen.

I've been thinking a lot lately about strengthening my ability to ask for help. I've always been a bit of a go-it-alone guy and not only does that wear me out, sometimes it damages my relationships.  It's been so helpful to change that little by little.  Of course, as with all things human, I know i have to be smart about this, feeling my way into whom to ask for what. But so many people in my life (all of our lives?) are so willing to help. 

Even people who aren't yet in my life! Here's an example of that that happened last summer, one that inspires me to keep working with this.  Maybe you also have examples in your life of when you acted in a way that stretched you and inspires you to keep developing your best self?

We'd had some work down on our house. We had contractors here completing our half-finished stairs (it used to be a duplex and the stairs were taken out in the 1940's).  We had to move a window to make the stairs work right and the carpenters discovered the siding on the entire south side of the house was rotten.  So our other house work plans, and our a chunk of our budget, shifted and we had to redo the siding and exterior window trim on that side of the house.

Our contractor got that taken care of, but I wanted to do at least some of the work myself so I was working on painting the new window trim. Then I hit a problem: the upper window was too high for my 22' extension ladder. And darn it I was in the middle of painting, the day was getting on, and wanted to get the whole job done. 

It was Sunday at 6pm. Off I went to Home Depot to buy a longer ladder. But darn it: they were expensive, $280 for a 28' ladder. I stood there debating back and forth what to do.  That impatient do-it-yourself voice within me was screaming, "Oh just buy it, just get it done, you have a tall house so you need this ladder." So I put this enormous ladder on one of their big carts and wheeled it - tricky getting around corners! - to the check out.

There were two people in front of me and the guy at the head of the line had some problem involving tricky customer service so we were standing there for awhile. Then the person right in front of me turns out and says, "Hey how much is that big ladder?" - almost $300 I admitted - "Darn," he said, "that's a lot, I have one just like it lying around at my place."

At that point the "just buy it, just do it yourself" spell weakened a little. I could feel the tension in my forehead and the raggedness of my breathing relax a little. And then I surprised myself by asking this stranger if I could borrow his ladder.

His response was immediate and relaxed. Like he has strangers asking him to borrow ladders all the time. "Sure," he said, "just follow me home and pick it up." A total stranger! And he was as good as his word. Without asking anything from me, he generously lent me his ladder. I finished my painting.

I did find a way of thanking him: I did a repair to the rope and pulley that lifts the ladder extension. I realized even without arranging a payment or an exchange there is often a 

way to give right back. That helping engenders more helping.

Sometimes we can trust another. We can trust their generosity. We can trust the good hearts of people. I hope to keep practicing this inner skill of asking for help.

What would you like to develop about your inner life?

Best,

Tim

PS. Some interesting research suggests that in changing habitual responses it makes a big difference if we spend a moment contemplating our positive qualities. So easily the mind goes to the negative which reinforces itself. ("I'm always this way" etc.).

In studies described by Alex Korb in his excellent book The Upward Spiral  he demonstrates that taking a moment to activate your knowledge of your good qualities makes a big difference. In the studies they had participants ask themselves questions like, "Have you ever forgiven another person when he or she has hurt you?" or "Have you ever encouraged a friend to pursue a goal?" And this simple mindset intervention made it surprisingly more possible for the study participants changes. 

So contemplate your good qualities sometimes! Affirm your ability to be a better person, and then practice those skills.

News

Become a mindfulness teacher!

If you've been feeling the call, there are a couple of spots in the training cohort that begins in September.

Click here for more info.

Spring Retreat

A three-day retreat is a great way to extend the practice you've started after one of our classes!

Spring Weekend Retreat (Samish) - Friday-Sunday April 7-9
Flying in? Airport shuttle now available.

New Online Classes

Retreat at Home. A three-hour LIVE online retreat offered on Sundays from 2pm-5pm PST on April 23rd, May 14th, and June 11th.  Join from the comfort of your own home using the Zoom video conferencing system. We're excited about this convenient way to renew our practice together from wherever we are.

Mindfulness Fundamentals Online Course. Our popular 4-week introduction to Mindfulness in the MBSR style now available online with a mix of self-paced and live interactive online content. Live meetings Tuesdays 6pm-8pm starting April 11th, plus includes the April 23rd Retreat at Home.

Discounts and Continuing Education

Alumni discount option. To encourage alumni to continue to refine and grow their practice, alumni can re-take their classes and/or attend retreats at a reduced rate. 

Resources

The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb (see the P.S. in Tim's letter). In stock at Village Books, or pick up wherever you shop for books.

Scholarship Fund

We try to make our classes and retreats accessible to everyone, regardless of ability to pay. Our sliding fee scale helps, but many with the most need for mindfulness are the least able to pay.

You can help by making a tax-deductible donation to our Scholarship Fund. Thank you!

Upcoming Classes

Information on these and the classes and retreat can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

Upcoming Retreats

Information on these and the classes and retreat can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

Plan Ahead!

Roots of Compassion 5-day Retreat 2017 - August 27 - September 1st
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Roots of Mindfulness 7-day Retreat 2017 October 15-22
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

"What do I need right now?"

I was grateful that this question came into my mind the other night. I was in bed trying to get to sleep and the mind was racing. Anxious thoughts about things to get done. Random thoughts. Jumpy thoughts.

Asking myself that question shifted the internal conversation.

It helped me turn my attention away from the contents of my thinking  -  "Yes! that's right I do need to get that task done! but not now, take it easy mind!" - and towards a deeper acknowledgment of what was going on in my head.

I realized that what I needed was to really recognize and acknowledge what was going on: "Wow, these are anxious thoughts." 

And then the dynamic started to change. Asking myself what I need helped me take a fuller step into mindful non-judgmental awareness. Asking that question helped me to start giving the spinning thoughts less energy - to recognize that the subtle levels of resistance even in relatively wise self-talk (telling ourselves to calm down and so on). 

As we know: "what we resist persists."

The question "What do I need right now?"  is a central teaching in the Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) class that was created by the psychologists Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer. I've been appreciating learning and teaching MSC for this last year. The sequence of practices, exercises, and contemplations of MSC have really helped me and the other class participants to broaden the feeling of our mindfulness work.

Once that question had interrupted the spell and helped to support mindfulness I was able to move on to the contemplation of common humanity (the second of the three key factors of mindful self-compassion). Many people, I reminded myself, feel anxious racing thoughts at bed time. That helped too. Of course we know it's not just me, but there's a taking that in, taking it to heart, and contemplating and feeling (not just thinking) about our shared common humanity that really opens the heart and takes the pressure off 

And finally I brought to mind the third factor of mindful self-compassion: kindness.

This has been a wonderful addition to the "cool acceptance" I trained in for so many years in my Zen training. Warming things up in the heart. I adjusted the body, took a soothing breath, and did my best to bring a little more kindness and patience in.

Did I instantly let go of everything, clear my mind, and fall asleep? Nope.

But asking myself that question with sincerity really did help.

It helped me so start gently working my way through what they call The Self-Compassion Break: practicing mindfulness by really feeling and identifying what was going on, contemplating common humanity, and inviting kindness.

I'm learning that "What do I need right now?" is not a selfish question at all but a question that helps me to be softer, more open, and more present. It serves as a counterweight to the powerful tendency towards a tense and ragged kind of pushing. Pushing my mind to settle down at night, pushing my way through the day's tasks. Pushing pushing pushing.

It helps me pause, as all mindfulness work does, but in that pause: more room for kindness, more of a feeling of connection.

I hope you'll join us in one of our explorations of Mindful Self-Compassion 

In addition to the standard 8-week course (a couple of spots in the Bellingham class still and look for more offerings in the Fall) we have two workshop format offerings coming up.

The first is a weekend Core Skills Training being held in the beautiful community of Port Townsend. On the weekend of March 18th/19th we'll immerse ourselves in the essential components of MSC.

The origin of this project is moving, sad, and beautiful.

I've been invited by the Benji Project to work in with a leading teacher of MSC, Lorraine Hobbs, to bring Mindful Self-Compassion to Port Townsend as part of the community's response to teenage depression and suicide. 

The project leader of the the Benji Project lost her son Benji to teenage suicide and this is Benji's mom's response: to seek to bring more mindfulness and self-compassion to the community.

And the second workshop is a 5-day intensive in Mindful Self-Compassion that includes all of the elements of the 8-week class in that residential workshop format. It's a wonderful and immersive way to find out what MSC is all about in just a week. 

It's being held a peaceful retreat center on the water in Federal Way from May 7 to 12 - easy access for everyone in the Seattle/Tacoma area and we're also providing a shuttle for those flying in to SeaTac. For this workshop I'm working with one of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion's founding teachers and a principal teacher trainer: Michelle Becker who's coming up from San Diego. The workshop is also for those interested in moving towards teaching MSC who are having trouble finding a full 8-week course to attend.

And I'm happy to note for professionals that both workshops are qualified for continuing education credit for several professions. The weekend in Port Townsend provides continue ed for teachers, master's level therapists and social workers; and the 5-day in Federal Way provides continue ed for nurses, psychologists, master's level therapists and social workers.

And a side note on professional continuing ed for those in the Bellingham area: our upcoming Mindfulness for Healthcare Providers course being held at PeaceHealth includes 14 CME credits appropriate to doctors, nurses. These 14 credits are also, I'm told, useable for master's level therapists and social workers. That's on Thursday evenings starting March 16th.

Wishing us all little more mindfulness, a little more appreciation for our common humanity, and a little more kindness,

Tim

Rev. Tim Burnett,  Executive Director 

Course Updates and Announcements

New Online Classes!

Retreat at Home. A three-hour LIVE online retreat offered on Sundays from 2pm-5pm PST on April 23rd, May 14th, and June 11th.  Join from the comfort of your own home using the Zoom video conferencing system. We're excited about this convenient way to renew our practice together from wherever we are.

Mindfulness Fundamentals Online Course. Our popular 4-week introduction to Mindfulness in the MBSR style now available online with a mix of self-paced and live interactive online content. Live meetings Tuesday 6pm-8pm starting April 11th.

Alumni discount option. To encourage alumni to continue to refine and grow their practice, alumni will be able to re-take their classes and/or attend retreats at a reduced rate. 

Increasing Options for Retreats. We're delighted to be offering so many more retreats: one day retreats in Seattle, Woodinville, Bellingham, and online. Weekend, 5-day, and 7-day retreats at our favorite retreat center in the Skagit Valley. And more. Retreat practice is so important and so powerful. Immersing ourselves in the practice and taking a true break for our busy routines is transformational.

Upcoming Classes

Seattle Area Classes

• 4-week Fundamentals of Mindfulness Tuesday afternoons, February 14 - March 7.
  
  
• Mindfulness for Health Care Professionals (UW Faculty/Staff) Sunday evenings, March 5 - April 2
  
  
• Tending Relationships with a Mindful Heart workshop. March 21st. Introductory workshop.
  
  
• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (Seattle). Thursday evenings, April 6 - May 25.
  
  
• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (Kirkland). Wednesday evenings,April 12 - May 31.
  
  
• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (Federal Way). Thursday evenings, April 13 - June 1.
  
  
• Meeting Mindfulness & Self-Compassion workshop with the Whole U (Seattle) Tuesday, April 22.

Bellingham Classes

• Mindful Self-Compassion for the Community 8 Monday evenings with NEW start date of February 13th. Still room!
  
  
• NEW! Taking the Path of Mindfulness Thursday evenings, February 23 - March 30
  
  
• Mindfulness for Health Care Professionals. Thursday evenings March 16 - April 13
  14 CME's (applicable to therapists also)
  
  
• Noon-time Mindfulness at Village Books. Thursday, March 23rd.
  
  
• Compassion Cultivation Training. The next step after MSC. Monday evenings, April 10 - June 12.
  
  
• Tending Relationships with a Mindful Heart workshop. Saturday April 15th.

• Mindfulness for Health Care Professionals. Monday evenings June 26 - July 31. 

Upcoming Retreats & Residential Workshops

A Day of Mindfulness in Seattle - March 4

Winter Retreat Day (Semiahmoo) - March 12

Mindful Self-Compassion: Weekend Core Skills Workshop (Port Townsend) - March 18-19

Spring Weekend Retreat (Samish) - April 7-9
Flying in? Airport shuttle now available.

Meeting Mindfulness with the Whole-U (Seattle) - April 22

Retreat at Home (Online) - April 23

Mindful Self-Compassion Intensive (Tacoma) - May 7-12
Flying in? Airport shuttle now available.

A Day of Mindfulness in Seattle - May 13

Retreat at Home (Online) - May 14

A Day of Mindfulness at Brightwater Center (Woodinville) - May 27

Retreat at Home (Online) - June 11

Roots of Compassion 5-day Retreat 2017 - August 27 - September 1st
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Roots of Mindfulness 7-day Retreat 2017 October 15-22
Flying in? Airporter shuttle available.

Information on these and the classes and retreat can be found on our site:
Mindfulness Northwest Events

Suggested Resources

• How the Brain Changes When you Meditate - one of several nice summaries of recent research. The structure and function of the brain seem to change in positive ways from meditation. From literally doing....nothing!
• Increasing evidence that mindfulness & meditation have positive benefits as a cellular level is mounting. Here's an article on a recent study on the telomeres in the cells of cancer patients.
• Can Compassion Training Help Physicians Avoid Burnout?  Glad to see for the physicians we work with the growing body of evidence that mindfulness and compassion training really help. Applies equally, we would guess, to all busy high-stress professionals.